Resources/The Ten Patterns of Dysfunctional Interpersonal Behaviour
Excitable High Excitable individuals are emotionally volatile
and easily disappointed in projects, people, or organisations. They
alienate employees through unpredictable displays of anger or
frustration. These executives seek understanding and respect, but
conditions early in life led them to believe that others will
ultimately disappoint or exploit them. As a result, they are
constantly vigilant for signs of possible rejection, giving up
easily and ready to strike out emotionally or withdraw from those
whom they expect will let them down. Strong displays of emotion
allow the person an illusion of control while simultaneously keeping
others at an emotional distance where they are ultimately less
threatening.
Sceptical High Sceptical executives
mistrust others' motives and doubt their intentions.
They expect mistreatment; as a result, they are quick to
find it. In such situations, they may recoil in an
angry or combative manner to gain control and distance
themselves from others. In the workplace, they are often
shrewd, politically sensitive and difficult to fool.
However, their cynicism leads them to distrust authority
and to fear that subordinates will attempt to circumvent
them. These beliefs underlie a contentious interpersonal
style characterised by irritability, argumentativeness
and insensitivity to criticism.
Cautious High Cautious individuals fear criticism
and are quick to feel rejected. They are careful,
conservative and worried about making mistakes. They
attribute unsuccessful experiences to an inherent
defect that sets them apart from others. They avoid
giving other people the opportunity to see their
deficiencies. Even positive feedback can be distorted or
discounted. While no one enjoys criticism, these
individuals cannot tolerate the unpleasant feelings
associated with making a mistake; as a result, they
seek to avoid unpredictable events such as social
interactions and decision making.
Reserved High Reserved leaders prefer
social isolation. They dislike working in teams or
meeting new people. Others find them difficult because
they tend to be withdrawn and uncommunicative. They
lack social sensitivity, the capacity to notice and
respond effectively to the needs and feelings of others.
They believe that life is best lived on a purely
rational basis. As a result, they are typically
impervious to both praise and criticism and rarely offer
such feedback to others. They prefer that others
perceive them as tough, resilient, and self-sufficient.
Leisurely As a result of early socialisation
experiences, the high Leisurely leader avoids direct
expressions of annoyance and frustration. He or she
expresses such feelings in indirect ways. Persons in
positions of authority are typically perceived as either
incompetent or unfair. In reaction, the high Leisurely
person believes in the right to pursue a personal agenda
at his or her own pace. He or she envies those who are
successful but at the same time resents them and
maintains an illusion of self-sufficiency and
self-respect by covertly resisting expectations.
Bold High Bold individuals believe they are
unique or exceptional in some way. The high Bold
executive was often the 'golden child' of the family,
lacking the boundaries and discipline that help children
learn and respect their own and others' limits. This
individual believes that he or she should not have to
accept subordinate positions and should be exempt from
difficult or dull tasks. The high Bold leader is
sublimely insensitive to the impact of his or her
behaviour on others, believing that subordinates should
eagerly contribute to the leader's personal progress.
Colourful High Colourful persons are naturally
extroverted and gregarious. However, they often mistake
attention for accomplishment. Historically, attention
and affirmation were predicated upon charm, appearance,
and the capacity to entertain. Far less attention was
paid to competence, persistence, and achievement. These
individuals covertly doubt their real abilities and
fear that others will notice their 'weaknesses.' Under
stress, the high need for approval leads to
exhibitionistic and 'entertaining' behaviours in place
of real productivity.
Imaginative The high Imaginative
person shares with the high Reserved individual an
insensitivity to social cues. As the Reserved person
withdraws, however, the high Imaginative leader
relishes social interaction as an arena for sharing
novel ideas, opinions, and styles. High Imaginative
individuals believe in their own uniqueness and a need
to emphasise creativity over practicality. They value
inner experience to define reality, not what others
might consider rational or objective. Viewing
themselves as special, they are typically immune to
criticism and rejection.
Diligent High Diligent
individuals grew up in environments that valued high
levels of performance, criticising work that was judged
to be substandard in some way. As a result, these
individuals believe that only two options are possible
in any performance situation: perfection and failure.
There is no room for 'shades of grey.' Indeed, they
often have difficulty judging the realistic importance
of any given task. They distrust autonomous thinking; as
a result, they value rules, standards and social custom
to define the appropriate response in a performance
situation.
Dutiful High Dutiful leaders
enjoyed a nurturant
environment early in life; however, caregivers failed to
'pull back' as the child became more capable of
self-sufficiency. Lacking mastery experiences, this
individual did not develop a sense of competence and
self-efficacy, continuing to believe that he or she must
rely on others for important decisions. The
unpredictable or unknown is avoided, as the high Dutiful
person doubts his or her capacity to cope successfully
with novel challenges or situations. Belief in the self
as 'weak' impairs this executive's capacity to think
independently.