Resources/Assertiveness
True
assertiveness means standing up for yourself when unreasonable demands
are being asked of you, but it also means respecting the other person
and doing what you can to create a win:win situation.
Seven steps to assist you in becoming more assertive:
1 Learn to recognise assertiveness
Being assertive is all about self-worth. It is not about being
aggressive or losing your temper, but about standing up for yourself and
making your views known. So, if for example, your boss asks you to stay
late when you have already made plans for the evening, you should be
able to say 'no' without feeling that you are letting people down. You
could always add that you can help out another evening, but the
important thing is to be clear that it is not possible for you to work
late tonight.
2 Remember you have rights
How often have you thought: 'What right does he/she have to say that
to me?' If this is what you are thinking, you probably have good reason.
You have the right to be respected for who you are and the views you
have (even if others disagree with them).
3 Watch your language
It is very easy to be non-assertive in the way you communicate.
Monitor your language and try to get out of the habit of starting
sentences with, 'I'm sorry to have to ask you this but...' or 'I'm
hopeless at this sort of thing...' or some other apologetic,
approval-seeking phrase. If you continually excuse yourself for what you
say, people will believe you are not worth listening to.
4 Be clear and direct
Avoid waffle. If you want to put your point of view across or give an
order to a colleague, be as succinct as possible. A short, clear
statement will give people the impression that you know exactly what you
want or what you believe. People are more likely to respect you for
being open and direct.
5 Be positive
Take a positive view of things. Smile and be friendly towards people,
whether it’s your boss or people who work for you. Even when things are
going wrong, try to look at the positive aspects of the situation and
always remember to thank people for their efforts.
6 Keep a cool head
Losing your temper will not get the job done any quicker and you are
likely to upset people in the process. Likewise, if your boss is being
aggressive, try to quieten him or her down. You will sound and look more
professional and in control if you deal with angry outbursts in a calm,
measured way.
7 Watch your body language
Assertive body language is a vital part of getting your message across. If you sit in a meeting looking nervous, wringing your hands or fidgeting, you are unlikely to look like you mean business. Likewise, wagging your finger at people, raising your eyebrows or thumping the desk will make you come across as aggressive. Try instead to sit up straight, look people in the eye when you talk to them and keep your hands and facial expression relaxed.